In my twenties I went through
an in-depth self-analysis of what I wanted most in life.
After a great deal of travel-time pondering, I concluded
all I wanted was to be happy. The concept was simplistic
and obvious, yet has stimulated my actions throughout my
adulthood. My only wavering from this goal occurred during
the period of 1992 to 1995.
During an eleven-month period
from 1992 to 1993 I lost four friends to death. Three died
during the month of July in 1993, each through a different
method of death. The period following these events left
me in a deep depression. Unsure as to whether I could climb
out of the melancholy created by so many deaths, I decided
to revisit the idea of what I wanted most in life. Again
while travelling to and from work, I contemplated where
the joy was in my life. To my surprise the answer revealed
itself to be music.
With music I tend to be
a great listener. I find value in all forms of music, yet
can not sing a note to save a life and have only minor skills
as a musician. So to have music slap me awake as my greatest
reason for joy surprised me. Once I uncovered this reality
about myself I focused on what I should do with the knowledge.
I did not purposefully decide
to express my grief through music, it just unfolded that
way. Starting in 1994 I began writing the album "C.
Pippin Lowe On The Horizon". As I sat at my keyboard
I would think about a lost friend and what came out was
recorded to my computer. It amazed me, the music that surfaced.
The song about my brother Jim was complicated yet pleasant
to listen to, just like he was. "Bejou B. Merry"
is jazzy and full of energy. I can mentally envision her
dancing to the music each time I hear it.
The wonder of writing this
music was the healing effect it had on my emotional state.
I credit this music for giving me back my joy. In my mind
this experience is a lesson that is best expressed in the
English Proverb, "A smooth sea never made a skilled